Saturday, August 29, 2009

Continued ramblings...

Jenny's moan page.47 days ago
I'm so over school. i want to drop out so bad but i know that's not the right thing OR the smart thing to do... argh I really just want to pursue my musical dreams, i have this awful feeling of being trapped, like i won't succeed, like i'll be a failure to myself.
It's such an awful feeling. makes me want to vomit and go jump off a bridge.
I just cannot be fucked with school. i just wanna write and perform my own music, go get covered in tattoos, live in a big city, start my own business, not be ashamed or guilty of who i am, drink whenever i like, live life, be free and happy.
I'm so goddamn frustrated that i'm NOT GETTING ANYWHERE that it's slowly killing me. ARGH!
And i know i sound like a regular teenage girl with regular teenage dramas and regular teenage hormones, but FUCK! It's a big deal to me!

anyways, moving on to another thing that's pissing me off royally,
I'm a little weird about naming names here so i'm not gonna do it, but there is a certain person who i used to have close intimate relations with, but it ended really badly and now that person has been spreading shit about me far and wide, and you know what? most of it is BULLSHIT!!!
This is pissing me off because now a whole lot of people hate me for fake reasons and are believing all this shit about me which isn't true.
I wish you would all give me a chance to prove that i really am nothing like what he's made me out to be. One of my best friends originally believed what he said, but then actually got to know me and realized how different i am and now we are really really great friends.
This person who's spreading lies about me seems to have forgotten how badly he treated me and the SHIT he put me through which is why i left him in the first place!
This is the first time i am standing up for myself publicly because i've been so reluctant to cause more drama and make it worse for myself, also, the one thing i have to stand up for myself, legally i can't tell anyone, but bloody fuck, this is getting ridiculous.
It hurts my feelings and makes me want to cry when i find out what people i don't even know, believe about me. A lot of people have eaten that shit up with a spoon and won't even give me a chance.
I'm a much better person than you realize.
Please,just give me the chance to prove it.

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