Saturday, August 29, 2009

All the ramblings from previous blogs over the last two months.

I am NOT sorry.
64 days ago
Ok, well this has been bugging me for ages now, and when i say ages, i mean a decent year or so.
I don't give a shit if no one reads this, but i need to say it.

I am NOT sorry, and will not apologize for who I am.
I realize that I'm more of an extrovert than other people, I listen to rock and roll music such as Guns N' Roses, Aerosmith and Led Zeppelin when others listen to Chris Brown, Rihanna, Lady Gaga and Jonas Brothers. I like Michael Jackson's music. I dress like a teen rebel from the 80s. I'm opinionated and straight up. I tend to be over-dramatic, though this year i'm HEAAPPSS more chill than usual. I get along with guys FAR better than girls. I don't hang out with a lot of people my own age, i tend to get along with older people. The lyrics to songs that i write are abstract, personal and deep and weird. I love body modifications (if they're tasteful). I have an open mind to all different kinds of people whether that be race, gender, sexuality etc. I'm totally open to embracing sexuality (capacity for sexual feelings/sexual activity), when i have conversations with others, i tend to use big longs words that most people don't understand, i think a lot of people are stupid just because they are rude and don't use common sense, i'm NOT a bitch whether you believe it or not, unless someone has RREEAALLLYYY pissed me off and done something seriously bad to hurt me, i don't bitch about anyone behind their back, I was born with voluptuous curves e.g my ass, waist, hips and boobs and i wear bright red lipstick A LOT of the time, including to school on mufti days.

There's is so much of myself that I hold back because i know that if i just let go, i will be scrutinized, bullied and just have my life generally made hell by those around me because these days, SO many people are close minded.
It's part of the reason i can't wait to move to a big city.

But you know what? I'm not sorry for who i am. I'm proud of who i've become.
I don't have loads and loads and loads of friends, i'm not extremely popular and i'm not mainstream, but i wouldn't swap with ANYONE.
I'm happy with who i am and i'm SICK of being fucking judged for it!!!
Those who do bother to get to know me are always pleasantly surprised by how different i am as a person to what they expect me to be.
I'm a brilliant listener and a loyal friend. I never backstab my friends and will do whatever it takes to stick by them.

I've been described with the statement: "It's like there's the rest of the school.... and then there's Jenny."
but you know what?
Not only is that true, but that's the way i like it.
If i have to change who i am and my hobbies and interests and the way i dress act and behave just to have heaps of friends that i'm not really close to or care about very much and to fit in at school, then i would MUCH rather be an outcast.

I love my friends very much, and i have a tight group of them who i would die for.
That works for me just fine.

so once again, i will not apologize for who i am and i'm sick of being gossiped about.

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